In Our Dating Era
A podcast & dating show for what comes after your early 20's. Listen in as we discuss dating, life after relationships, dating apps, boyfriends and so much more.
Follow on instagram: @InOurDatingEra
Starting over after a break-up can be hard, your searching for answers, a community, someone to tell you what's next, and how to get back out there.
Nikki jumped right into the dating world after a 10 year long relationship and 5 years of marriage. Now she's here to talk about dating when you have no damn clue what you're doing. Her community is filled with single women, young girls, moms, and women in need of a community and often times a good laugh! Dating is a hell of a lot more fun when you have others to share in it's insanity!
In Our Dating Era
Re-entering the Dating Scene: Empowerment and Fun Post-Divorce
Ever wondered how to make dating fun again, even after a long-term relationship? Join me, Nikki Anderson, as I kick off "In Our Dating Era" by sharing my personal story of re-entering the dating scene post-divorce. This episode is all about creating a supportive, fun, and vibrant community for women in their late 20s and early 30s, who are navigating the sometimes tumultuous waters of modern dating. We’re not here to give you cookie-cutter advice; rather, we’ll focus on empowering you to evaluate potential partners while recognizing your own worth. Through humorous and heartfelt narratives, you'll see that you're not alone in this journey.
But that's just the beginning. We also delve into the essential topic of healing after a breakup and approaching new relationships with a clear, confident mindset. Are you looking for something casual, serious, or simply open to possibilities? Having clarity on your intentions is a game-changer. We talk about how dating evolves at different life stages and emphasize that it should always be fun and fulfilling. Expect diverse and enriching conversations with friends and special guests, who will share their own crazy, entertaining, and insightful dating stories. Welcome to our era of dating—it's going to be a wild ride!
Welcome to episode one of In Our Dating Era. I'm Nikki Anderson. I am so excited to finally be launching this podcast. It's been a long time coming. I feel like I've been talking about doing it for longer than a minute, let's be honest, for quite some time and finally getting around to sitting down and making a point, to be really intentional about what I want to share. This is going to be fun. This is going to be a lot of fun. I'm going to have guests on the show, I'm going to have a few friends come in and talk and then we've got some special treats kind of sprinkled in there for the next few weeks. But I'm just really excited.
Speaker 1:Obviously, the podcast is about dating Duh, it's in the title, but what makes it different from the other? I don't know bajillion dating um podcasts that are probably out there, or girls talking to other girls on podcasts. But I think what makes this special is that there are not a lot of podcasts out there that you can listen to that are dating podcasts that aren't just people giving you advice and throwing information at you, but it's more of a conversation. It's an ask me anything. It's women that have lived a little bit women in our late 20s, early 30s and into our 30s that have experienced long relationships, that are coming out of long relationships whether that's a long-term relationship, a marriage or just getting divorced, or maybe you've just been with someone for a really long time. I mean, for the most part, if you're in your late 20s and early 30s, you've had a few relationships and you've had a little bit of an emotional tie and maybe some, you know, emotional damage has been done and it's a lot harder to date later on in life, but it doesn't make it any less fun. I think we forget that dating is also about self-discovery. It's about figuring out what you want so that you can turn around and when Mr Right does come along, you can realize that they're adding value to your life.
Speaker 1:And I think one of the biggest takeaways that I've learned. I've now been dating pretty heavily on and off for the last almost a year and a half and I've hit a few bumps in the road and we'll get there because a few of the stories are pretty entertaining. But I think for the most part what I've learned is that I think I went into dating being like I hope this guy likes me, I hope he thinks I'm great. I hope that he likes my outfit and like really internalizing myself of like, what am I bringing to the table? And the script needs to be flipped. We need to be looking at these men and saying to ourselves if they are the right guy, I'll like them. I'll appreciate that they're holding the door open. I'll love that they're pulling my chair out. I'll love that they're pulling my chair out. I'll love that they're asking constant questions and keeping the conversation going.
Speaker 1:I think we internalize the idea that, like, they have to like us, but the thing is is that they are the ones that are in the hot seat. We need to like them, we need to like the things they're bringing to the table, and in doing so and being able to do that, we have to have dating under our belt so that we know the things we don't like, the things that we love and the things we want in our future partner and all along the way. There's a lot of mistakes to be made. There's a lot of great stories to tell, and that's the biggest thing here is that it's so much fun talking about dating with your girlfriends, and that's what I want to be. I want this to be a conversation with your girlfriends where we can talk about dating, the do's and don'ts, the mistakes that we've made, the mistakes that guys have made, the apps and everything in between, because I think that somehow we've gotten lost in. Like this, dating is just, you know, it's dragging through the mud and it's exhausting and while it has those moments and it can be I also think it can be a lot of fun. I think it can be more of a conversation and funny stories, and we're not looking to drag men through the mud and to name any names. This is more so like a lot of fun and to just talk about our past experiences and what we're experiencing in the future. So, with all of that said, step in to the experience we are about to go through and welcome to In Our Dating Area era. It's bound to have some funny moments. It's probably going to be a little bit crazy. I'm going to tell you guys my story, which is definitely crazy and at the end of the day, I think I just want this to be a lot of fun.
Speaker 1:I think I was looking for a sense of community, leaving a 10-year-long marriage or a 10-year-long relationship excuse me, a five-year-long marriage and now being a mom. And I looked around and I just felt like I started dating and there was no one around me who was also dating. Um, I had a lot of amazing friends, but they were all in committed relationships and marriages, um, and I just felt like if I wanted to step out and go to dinner or go to a bar, I didn't have friends and relationships with people who are in the same situation as me. And so I think this is so nice, because I now have kind of cultivated that and conversations that have started with these friends now and some of my best girlfriends are oh my god, you went on a date with so-and-so. How was it? Let's talk about it. I have a date on Thursday. What should I wear? And then you, you on a date with so-and-so. How was it? Let's talk about it. I have a date on Thursday. What should I wear? And then you really don't feel so isolated and like pulled down by the idea of dating. It makes it a little bit lighter, it makes it more fun to talk about it with those people, and so that's what I want to do.
Speaker 1:I dated, like I said, for a year, on and off, taking small breaks here and there. I dated on the apps. I dated out in real life, in person, going to bars or going to I did like the Newport Beach Run Club, which was really fun and was out there running and meeting people. So I'll share a lot of those stories. But my relationship ended, my marriage ended and for an entire decade my entire 20s I didn't date anyone else. So I really came out being like what are the apps going to be all about? How am I going to navigate this dating world? And I jumped into it pretty quickly.
Speaker 1:My ex came out to me that he was gay and our marriage was kind of ending and I just kind of was like well, no time like the present. There's no moving backwards, there's only moving forwards. And I really made I made it very quickly a point to think to myself what happened didn't happen to me, it's a decision that was made. He made the decision and now I have a choice to make a decision myself. I can sit and I can wait this out and figure out what I want to do, or I can move forward. I can move forward and start dating and figure out what I'm going to want and what that's going to look like, or I can wait it out, and I think for me there was a high level of curiosity, having gone a decade without dating. Um, my husband was the only person I had really been in a long committed relationship with. So there was so many questions in the back of my mind and I think, looking back now, I wish I probably would wait it a little bit longer before I started dating, but I jumped in. Oh, I jumped, and we we'll get into it more. But I look back now and I'm like I don't have a ton of regrets.
Speaker 1:Honestly, I think for me, I would get more and more fearful had I waited. The longer I would have gotten in my head and worried about all these different things and instead I just thought well, I'm this beautiful young woman, I'm successful, I run my own business, I have these two amazing kids. What man would not want to be with this? Because this man didn't and that was his loss, and that's fine. But I think I have something amazing to give and I think that was my biggest thing is I always thought I'm going to give this, to someone to give this, and the thing is is that someone has to come into your life and complete your story. They have to come into your life and they have to fit well with what you're already doing, that you love, and we'll get into that and we'll dive in. But just so you guys have a little bit more backstory, I wholly jumped in. I was going on probably two to three dates a week, which was a lot at the time. This was like a few months out of my separation and I met some of the nicest guys truly, and I can say this a few dads, a few single guys that were a little bit younger than myself and I kind of was just like let's see, let's see where this goes.
Speaker 1:And that same mentality is what I ask any woman getting out of a long relationship to have. Your window of time of what you need in order to dip your toe back in the dating pool is going to be different, and you take that time if you need it, whether that's a year, two years, two weeks, two months, you take that time. But then, when you're ready, you have to try to go in with an open heart and an open mind and a really fucking amazing support group of women, because it makes all the difference when you go in with a clear mind of what you want and what your intention is, whatever that is, whether it's just to hook up, whether it's to find a partner, whether it's a will see mentality I don't know what I want, but we'll see what kind of comes out of this. But you have to have some sort of directive because I think, looking around you, the way that the apps work and the different directions that relationships can go, or the casualness that relationships can go these days, knowing kind of where you're at, whether that's in between very much wanting a relationship or very much wanting everything to just be casual that question gets asked immediately, no matter who On the apps in person.
Speaker 1:So what are you looking? The so what are you looking for? Question has to be like the catalyst of like, making something so serious. All of a sudden you'll be flirting and it's so what are you looking for? Like and it's just nice to have an answer in your back pocket, to know like. Well, you know what? I don't know. I think I kind of in a will see mentality, like we'll see where this goes, we'll see what, what kind of you know, comes out of this, not this, but just the whole dating experience as a whole. Or you say, hey, I'm looking for something serious. If that's not what you're looking for, I totally get it. Or you say you know what. This is casual, like. I'm just looking to like chat with people. That direction is so nice and that's something we'll really dive into later.
Speaker 1:But I want you guys to know that this is gonna be probably a little nuts.
Speaker 1:We are gonna talk about a lot, a lot of stuff and it's gonna be a lot of fun and, like I said, we're gonna have guests coming on which I think will be really insightful, because we have some younger guests who are going to be, you know, coming out of relationships and dating in their late 20s, you know, 24, 25, 26 and then we'll have some women that have exited marriages and relationships into their 30s and I think it's really nice to hear from everyone because while we all just assimilate dating to being, you know, you're young and you're dating and it's fun, that's not supposed to end just because you're getting older.
Speaker 1:It's not supposed to end just because you've had one or two serious relationships. That fun dating mentality is supposed to continue on. It can continue on and it should, especially at the beginning of any relationship. Or if you're having fun and it's casual, it's fun. So let's tell those stories, let's talk through things, let's get some advice, let's figure out how we're going to do this together and welcome Welcome to our dating era. Stick around, because it's it's bound to be crazy.
